My name is Kearston. You can call me kear, or kay. I am 17 years of age. I had a little baby boy Jayden William Knapp on June 26th, 2012. He was 7lbs. 2oz. and 19 1/2 in. long. He is my everything♥. His dad’s name is Donnavan, he is also 17. We use to be together. Until Donnavan changed, took a complete 180 from being supportive and there for me, to wanting adoption and having no part in the pregnancy, and he broke up with me back in February. It has made the experience so much harder, I still have to try and cope everyday but I pull through it because I have to be strong for my son.<3
How I found out:
Well, me and Donnavan sort of had this feeling.. So we waited to see if i would get my period. The first sign I had of my pregnancy was how sore my breasts were starting to get. Then i started becoming more tired and fatigued. So, about a week before my expected period, i started feeling these weird cramps. They weren’t as strong as period cramps and only gave me discomfort for a minute or two. I looked up what these could be and I found these cramps can be normal in early pregnancy as long as i don’t have bleeding that comes along with these cramps. Well the date of my expected period came and past, no bleeding at all. So i knew it was time to take a test. I tried waiting to see Donnavan so we could test together but he couldn’t get a ride to my house so i had to wait another week. Still no period. But i knew that if I took the tests at this point, I would get more definite results. So me and my friend Kaitlin went to buy the tests and we happened to be going to the mall that day. So we got in the mall and I went in the bathroom and took the tests. I remember peeing on that stick and looking at the results go across the little screen. That second pink line was unmistakable! It showed up within 10 seconds. I knew I was expecting my little baby. I called Donnavan and told him and took a picture of the test so he could see. He was so scared but happy(atleast at that point and time). I had only taken one test though. So later when we went back to Kaitlins house i took a second test. Positive. Then later that night at my house i took the last one. Positive. It was happening. Yes I was scared, but i knew i automatically loved my baby<3 and no one could ever change that, ever. I Love my little boy Jayden. :)
How i told people:
Well, haha. Besides Donnavan and a few close friends, My mom was the first one to know. I was at her house when i told her because my parents are divorced. She was shocked, but supportive. she said she knew this was gonna happen and was worried and didnt know what to do. Then the day after i told her, she told my dad on the phone and he got pissed at her and then hung up on her telling her to have me call him…. OH SWEET LORD HELP ME. So i called him, and he wasn’t mad or pissed at all. Yes, disappointed. But completely supportive of me. I was the one shocked at this point because i always thought he would disown me. But no, he is the one helping me go to my doctors appts. and making sure me and my baby get what we will need. As for my family- My dad told his side of the family. They were probably suprised.. but not mad i don’t believe. My dad handled it, so they know im being taking care of and shouldnt worry about me. My mom told some of her side of the family, and they were completely shocked and have thought and said some pretty mean things. Some of them weren’t very supportive and wanted me to give Jayden up for adoption. HELL NO. They don’t have a say AT ALL in what happens to my baby. These people are mostly my aunts. They are super control freaks. But the funny thing is, my pap (my moms dad) took it extremely well and is supportive and here for me. And that’s the most awesome feeling in the world for me because he’s the head of our family, and it means alot to have him by my side. But eventually everyone had come around to the idea of a new family member, and they respect my maturity and me taking responsibility of my son.
Hmm, uhm. Donnavan’s family. I’m not sure of their initial reaction, but Donnavan said they were upset with him that this is happening. His mom and dad are divorced as well, and his dad found out from donnavan’s Grandpa (since donnavan told him first). So his dad had them sit down and awkwardly tried to get donnavan to tell him that i’m pregnant. When it was finally out on the table, his dad told him he got himself in a mess. I know they all care for donnavan in his family. As for his mom, she got pregnant with donnavan at 17 and had him at 18. So she knows what we are both going through. She is very supportive too. It’s nice knowing she has been through it, so i can talk to her when i need to.
Donnavan’s family since us finding out the gender/our break-up:
They are all so supportive. They know how I feel about adoption and the more they talk to me and get to know where I stand and the plan of actions I have for Jayden, the more they see that I CAN handle this. They tell me how they are shocked and upset with Donnavan’s actions and attitude towards me. They are upset he is started dating another girl, right away, while i was going through the pregnancy alone. They are mad that he doesn’t cooperate with me or give me the time of day just because he wants to have his freedom and fun. They back me 100% and I’m glad to know I have people who love and care for me, even though I’m not “technically” their family. But they are reassuring that it will be okay, and it feels great. I am gonna keep contact with all of them, and include them in Jayden’s life because he deserves it.
Honestly, this is not at all what I expected to happen when I found out I was pregnant. I was told and promised a lot of things from Donnavan, I was in love with him and he decided to take the trust I gave him and tear everything to shreds. I can’t lie, It’s like I suffered a loss. I was completely heartbroken, and yet in love with the life inside me. Hence “mamainlove”
A lot of people tell me, don’t expect him to wake up and come back. Don’t put your hope on that. I know they’re right.
But it’s hard to just let go and move on from someone you gave your all to, and loved with everything you had, and had him feel the same way about you. Especially when you had his baby.
Some will say “Maybe he never really felt the same about you.”
I can assure you that is utter bullshit. I can never convince those people of it, unless they were in my position with him. They don’t know how he loved me, and how much we adored each other. Babies really do change everything. It can change a person completely. Yes, the girl changes as she becomes a mother. But with Donnavan, the man I never thought would ever leave me and Jayden, was changed completely.
He was hit with a reality that is so overwhelming to him.
Really, it’s no excuse though. But I still love him with all my heart.
It’s hard to even do that at this point. Because I’m so hurt. But like i said, he once was a man that was my everything for two years. Yeah, we may be dumb, young, only 17. But I really believed it when he said he was going to marry me one day.
This is Donnavan:
We we’re cute..
My support through it all is my Daddy himself. He is doing everything to make sure that me and Jayden get the things we need. I don’t know what I would do without him in my life. <3 Thank you dad. I appreciate everything you do for me.
~Sorry that was soo long, but I felt I needed to share all of this.
Hopefully one day I’ll be adding on to this page, telling you my happy ending. If you read all of this, thank you for your time and patience.<3
Jayden is :
-was breastfed for a month; now formula fed
-wearing disposable diapers
-given the pacifier (to an extent)
Note: these are just my preferences, I do not judge others and hope not to be judged back.